MENU: A Two-Way Street

By Margaux Salcedo
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:08:00 07/12/2009

It was 1.30 p.m. and Alphonsus was famished. He had been reading up on his Obligations and Contracts the entire morning at Starbucks, slowly sipping at his Mocha Frappuccino to make it last til noon from 8 a.m. when he entered the store and was required by common decency to order at least a drink. Now, one hundred pages into Vitug, he needed real food. He chose to hop to another cafe that was as known for their hefty sandwiches as they were for their coffee.

He entered Cafe Antonio with Starbucks cup still in hand, a fourth of the glass still waiting to be consumed - the last sip scheduled at 4.30 p.m., after he would return to Starbucks. He ordered a Reuben sandwich. "May I offer to transfer your coffee one of our mugs, sir?" the waiter asked Alphonsus. Alphonsus - Alphee to his friends - guarded the venti with his life. "No, thank you." The waiter, upon instructions from the owners, who were particular about creating the proper ambiance for their customers, insisted. "Baka sir mas masarap sa mug, tsaka po mas maganda tingnan (it might taste better from the mug, sir, and anyway would look much better," the waiter said with a smile. This persistence irked the clearly tired Alphonsus: "Ano bang problema mo eh babayaran ko naman yung sandwich ko!?" (In English: "What is your problem? I'm paying for my sandwich, aren't I?" In Alphonsus' head: "As vendor you have the right to exact fulfillment of the obligation but my only obligation here is to give remuneration for my purchase and therefore as long as I pay for my Reuben sandwich, I am entitled to keep my Frappuccino! Dura lex sed lex!") The waiter backed down.

Five bites into the sandwich, Alphonsus asked the waiter if he could plug in his laptop. He needed to download Filinvest Credit Corp. vs. Court of Appeals from the internet. "I"m sorry sir, we do not have plugs for laptops and we do not have wi-fi," the waiter explained. It was the aim of the restaurant to create an atmosphere that would encourage lively chatter over a delicious menu - an atmosphere that a laptop, in spite of the benefits of technology, would kill. Alphonsus' eyebrows met. "No wi-fi? May lugar pa ba sa mundo na walang wi-fi? Ano ba 'tong restaurant niyo, malala pa kayo sa gobyerno!" And with that, Alphonsus huffed out of Cafe Antonio, leaving no tip.

He went back to Starbucks with his stale frap still in hand.

This is one of the sad tales relayed to me by some restaurant owners who, in spite of their attempts to deliver the best ambiance, the best food, and even the best coffee, are snubbed by overly demanding customers who abuse their wiaters and don't even leave tip.

Another time it was Alphonsus times five, all carrying their Figaro cups as they entered the restaurant. They ordered one crepe and split it among them.

Then there's Axel, the talent manager who tells his talents to go to Cafe Antonio and just asks for a pot of hot water while he goes on with his casting call the entire day, filling the pot with his own tea and just asking for hot water refills.

Another tale is about the Lunching Lolas who come in dozens and then happily present their senior citizen cards. "I am all for giving senior citizens their benefits," Lady Antonion, a restaurant owner, shared. "But they think that we get tax credits for this and we don't. We, the private sector, are giving the senior citizens benefits that the government should be giving them. And while drugstores and supermarkets have guidelines as to what discounts senior citizens can get, restaurants are left to fend for ourselves. So we practically feed them at cost."

Or the dilemma of when to ask for the senior citizen card. One time, to avoid having to redo the entire process of printing the receipt, the waiter asked before accepting a customer's credit card whether she had a senior's citizen card or not. The lady was only in her early fifties and very much embarrassed.

Or take Lady Bebang, who refused to pay VAT because, she argued, senior citizens are exempt from VAT. On top of the senior citizen discount. (They are not.)

Then there are the fools' complaints. "Excuse me," the Blue Boy complained once, "This isn't blue cheese. It isn't blue." For real!

"Another time a girl complained that there was masking tape in her crepe. We searched our entire restaurant and we do not have masking tape," an owner said. "We had clear tape, printed tape, but no masking tape."

These are the stories from behind the scenes.

On the other hand, there are the wonderful customers. "Some of our customers have become very close to our staff that they've become the staff's ninongs and ninangs at their weddings," Lady Antonio beamed.

Another great story is of the Frenchman who tested her skills. "I want my crepe done the French way," the Frenchman told the waiter. "If she really knows her food, she will be able to do it." Lady Antonio, without missing a beat, folded the crepe as she had seen it done in France. Later, the Frenchman called for her and said, "You cook just like my grandmother." Nothing beats a compliment like that!

I guess what we have to realize is that the great restaurant experience is two-way. While we expect that the great meal and the great service must be delivered to us, we have a role to play too. And that is participate in the dining experience. Which is not achieved by bringing in your own Starbucks coffee!